I suppose if you count the months in my belly, we got to know Rett for a year and a half. It’s a terribly short time to know someone–especially someone who you love more than life. And when I think back to that time when he was physically present with us, of course the only … Read more
Last week, our family was lucky enough to be able to travel to California over Rett’s anniversary. The last two years, we’ve taken ourselves to warmer, sunnier, greener places—an attempt to create a tradition to ease the disconcerting days that lead up to the day he died. If you know trauma, you know it can … Read more
Dear Rett, Today you would be 7 years old–Lucky 7. Seven is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It is directly tied to God’s creation of all things, and is associated with a deep inward knowing–like what we saw in your eyes and your owl-like persona. In our world, you are … Read more
When our son, Everett, was diagnosed with cancer in 2014, it was a shock beyond most people’s comprehension–kids don’t actually get cancer do they? And my child? How? We held onto hope like it was all we had ever known. And although there were times of complete despair, we never let that hope dwindle during … Read more
It’s been a year since we’ve posted in these Musings–which doesn’t mean that we don’t muse over our son on a daily basis. Honestly, it’s just hard to continue to write about a boy who is no longer here, and hearts that continue to be broken. Another New Year is upon us, which is just another hard day … Read more
While I wouldn’t say I’m completely in tune with the spirit world, Rett continues to knock us over the head with his signs. I find it fascinating that his angelversary last year was on the full moon and his sister was born on the new moon two weeks later. Full moons are all about letting go, … Read more
I started Rett’s Roost because I heard a calling—from Rett or God or both—to heal myself through healing others. I believed that surrounding myself with families that had faced pediatric cancer like we had would somehow ease the sadness of losing Rett. And it has done just that—with each retreat my heart explodes with love. … Read more
Last year on Valentine’s Day, we were preparing to leave for St. Jude—a final glimmer of hope for our son. Instead of going out on a date, my husband and I were at our local hospital getting a final dose of antibiotics infused into Rett hoping to protect him from a plane of germs. I … Read more
It’s been just about ten months since I held him in my arms–the same amount of time we got to spend with our son in this lifetime. And during this time, I’ve read a lot about grief and followed other people’s journeys through it, because I’d never really felt anything like it before, and I … Read more
About one year ago, we found Everett’s cancer in his liver. There were no signs of him having a health issue, until one day, I noticed his belly seemed hard and he was strangely inconsolable. We found out the type of cancer, a malignant rhabdoid tumor, is one of the rarer and most aggressive cancers … Read more
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